"Hitting the Wrong Nerve" ("Dark Shadows")
Even though I've been reading comics practically all my life, I've stayed clear of the horror genre. Films and horror novels are no problem for me. I love the works of Stephen King, enjoy a good slasher flick, and still think the first 15 minutes of the "Dawn of the Dead" remake is the scariest piece of cinema I've seen in the past decade. But when it comes to comics, actual illustrated stories of terror, you won't even find me opening up the cover. And it's all because of the 1982 Delano Fourth of July parade.
Admit it, that last sentence just flew out of left field at you without any warning, didn't it?
For it was on that date, at that particular event, my distain for horror comics was forever stained. I was 8 years old at the time, standing in front of the crowd yelling for the oncoming floats to throw out candy as I stuffed my pockets with as much as I could catch. Well, a woman walking alongside one of the displays approached me and asked if I liked comics. Of course I did. Comics were even better than candy! So she handed me this mini book folded to the size of a business card and was on her way.
It wasn't until the car ride home when I finally read it. To my surprise it wasn't about superheroes or transforming robots or military men. Instead it was about a young boy who had homework to do and decided he'd rather go out and play dodgeball with the kids in the neighborhood. The only problem was his parents were very strict about him finishing his assignments before he played so this time, this one time, he chose to tell his mother and father all his homework was done and that he was more than ready for the test tomorrow. Turns out he didn't even crack open his textbook let alone look at the assignment. He lied to them so they did what every parent supposedly does when dealing with a dishonest child: they ripped off their faces and pushed him down into hell to spend all of eternity where the devil would laugh and stab the little boy with his pitchfork.
No, it wasn't a comic by EC or Fangoria - it was a pamplet from the church. Let me repeat that: a mini comic, illustrated very graphically of parents tearing the flesh right off their faces and a young child burning in hell, brought to you by the church.
To say that was a little traumatizing to a 8-year old who was going to a catholic school at the time would be an understatement. I can still remember the blood just leaving my face as I honestly believed my parents were going to turn around at any moment and rip off their faces. And why? Because when they asked me if I took my brother's pack of candy cigarettes, I told them no. I lied and now at any moment the floor of the car was going to deintegrate and I was going to plunge into damnation. Sure I know how silly it is now, but I remember that day so very long ago and since then I've never opened up a horror comic.
Oh... not because I'm afraid of being scared. No, I don't read them because I can't figure out what made that f**ked up church think it was okay to pass s**t like that to little kids at a parade in the first place. It's not fear I hold; it's disgust. Absolute utter disgust.
Anyhow, this is my attempt at doing a EC horror comic tribute. Sorry I went on a rant there. - Jake